Motivational speaker Tony Gaskins once said ‘Don’t lose yourself trying to be everything to everyone.’ & I think that is a pretty good quote to use to explain how I have been feeling this past month. Actually it’s been more than a month, it has been a few months now. Tired & stressed out, generally just run down to the point that writing a blog post & posting to Instagram felt like a chore – an obligation.
Rewind 2 years when I first started my blog, I remember feeling so nervous about putting myself out there. What would people think? Was my writing good enough? Would anyone actually read it? I remember waking up the next day and reading all the comments & shares from my friends (I love you guys lol) followed by a few pictures of the smoothie recipe I had shared. The thought of being able to do something I loved which could be beneficial to other people was the most exciting feeling ever. & that is pretty much where my blog began.
As my social media following & blog views started to pick up, I started to feel a little pressure to keep up the momentum, but sharing recipes & some of my favourite vegan beauty products was still very enjoyable for me. I loved practicing my photography & using this time to be creative.
I couldn’t contain my excitement when PR companies started approaching me. Could they send me some vegan beauty products to review? Would I like to try the newest vegan pizza in town? Erm – yes please!!
I poured my heart & soul into these reviews – because I genuinely loved the products & the thought of people able to inspire people to use products that didn’t test on animals or to try vegan options excited me.
Then after time sh*t stared to get crazy.
As my social media following continued to grow, my inbox started to fill up on a daily basis. Food review invites, media invites, product review, photo shoots, collaboration requests, magazine features. The events are exciting & who doesn’t like trying out new products?
It felt like the more I got, the more I wanted. The social media numbers game became addictive. I so desperately wanted to grow my account & I became stressed when I didn’t have time to post on social media.
Trying to keep up with everything started to take over my life. With a full time job & part time university, balancing the blog & social media was a struggle. I can’t count the number of times I have rushed home from work to try & take pictures before the sunset (every blogger knows this is the essential natural lighting right??).
A few weeks ago, I was brainstorming about what to share on my blog next. I came up with a topic & made a note in my calendar to take some pictures that following weekend. Friday came around & so did the reminder on my phone & I though to myself ‘urgh I totally can’t be assed with that today.’
& that is when it hit me.
I had lost myself.
In the social media numbers & status race that bloggers get caught up in, I had completely lost sight of why I started my blog. Something which I once loved doing had become a chore & that made me really upset.
& I don’t really have anyone to blame but myself. They say compassion is the thief of all joy & by comparing myself to other bloggers & social media accounts I put so much pressure on myself to post that I lost my inspiration.
I decided to take some time off my blog & social media to rethink the whole thing. I considered just deleting everything & just escaping this crazy influencer game.
I spent some time re-evaluating my values, enjoying the things I am passionate about without having to document them for the sake of social media/my blog & it felt good.
Once I had some head space & time out, I thought long & hard about my blog & whether I wanted to quit. I realised that I didn’t want to delete my blog, I just wanted to get back to basics & feel inspired again by putting my passions out into the world. I wanted to enjoy writing again & enjoy taking some time out to be creative. My blog had once been my down time & it was now something I took days off from!
By deleting my blog I would lose so many amazing social media friendships I have created, like-minded people & a great online vegan community which I love being part of. I would lose my platform, my opportunity to raise awareness about animal rights, marine life & saving our planet.
So instead of making the decision to get rid of my blog, I have made the decision to rebrand, renew, re-energize.
Not only have I changed my blog name, I have changed my mindset when it comes to blogging. Going forward I will not allow myself to feel any pressure to post & I am not going to let the craziness distract me from why I started blogging.
I might not be blogging as much from now on, but I won’t apologise because what I share will have been written with all the passion I have & with all the love in the world. Unless I am utterly obsessed with something/somewhere, it won’t be on the blog.
I really needed this time out & I am excited continue to share my passions & beliefs with you guys.
I hope you enjoyed my first post as Earth to Jessica & I hope this can inspire other people who are feeling a bit lost.
PS. Let me know what you think of the new blog!